Numpty Quotes

Our verbal research department has been beavering away, blowing the cobwebs off old angling sayings, buffing them up to a high lustre and lining them up carefully on the mantlepiece for the inlaws to approve of.

“When the winds in the East, the fish bite least;
When the winds in the West, you catch even less;
When the winds in the South, fish go nil by mouth;
When the winds in the North, its cold.”

“The gods do not subtract from the allotted span of men’s lives the hours spent on fishing.” – Assyrian proverb 1

“Red sky at night, shepherds delight.” 2

“Born to fish, forced to work.” 3

“There’s no taking trout with dry breeches.” – Miguel de Cervantes 4

“Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish and he will eat for a lifetime.” – old Chinese proverb 5

“There is certainly something in angling that tends to produce a serenity of the mind.” – Washington Irving 6

“Fishing is a… discipline in the equality of men – for all men are equal before fish.” – Herbert Hoover 7

“Fishing is much more than fish. It is the great occasion when we may return to the fine simplicity of our forefathers.” – Herbert Hoover 8

“Throw a lucky man in the sea, and he will come up with a fish in his mouth.” – Arab Saying 9

“Angling may be said to be so like the mathematics that it can never be fully learned.” – Izaak Walton 10

1 – Since their wives can be relied upon for that.
2 – This seems to allude to a strawberry flavoured desert under a crinkly baked potato lid.
3 – The irony would be lost on a trawlerman.
4 – Very few trout are caught wearing breeches anyway.
5 – Apparently the Chinese do not have a word for “Bad Angling”.
6 – For serenity read senility.
7 – Unless there are 3 men in which case they are odd.
8 – Another confusing quote from Mr.Hoover believing that he has 4 fathers, but then I don’t suppose maths ever did help clean a carpet.
9 – No doubt he would be forever known as “Rod”.
10 – I think our friend Mr.Hoover would attest to that.